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Commentary

OpinionCommentary

If Pigs Are So Smart, Why Won’t They Debate Me?

OpinionCommentary

If Pigs Are So Smart, Why Won’t They Debate Me?

By Charles Stewart

OpinionCommentary

America Is An Out-Of-Touch Gerontocracy, And I’m Glad I Don’t Live There

OpinionCommentary

America Is An Out-Of-Touch Gerontocracy, And I’m Glad I Don’t Live There

By Dianne Feinstein

OpinionCommentary

We Are Post-Pandemic. We Are Immortal. Those Still Alive Cannot Die.

OpinionCommentary

We Are Post-Pandemic. We Are Immortal. Those Still Alive Cannot Die.

By Dr. Anthony Fauci

OpinionCommentary

What I Got Right About The Iraq War

OpinionCommentary

What I Got Right About The Iraq War

By Dick Cheney

OpinionCommentary

I Am No Longer A Feminist After Watching Some YouTube Videos

OpinionCommentary

I Am No Longer A Feminist After Watching Some YouTube Videos

By Malala Yousafzai

OpinionCommentary

My Wife’s A Girl

OpinionCommentary

My Wife’s A Girl

By Joe Biden

OpinionCommentary

The Misogyny Interwoven Into Our Patriarchal Society Harms Men, Too

OpinionCommentary

The Misogyny Interwoven Into Our Patriarchal Society Harms Men, Too

By Andrew Tate

OpinionCommentary

We Need A Woman On Top Of The White House

OpinionCommentary

We Need A Woman On Top Of The White House

By Erica Nelson

OpinionCommentaryEditorial

It Is Journalism’s Sacred Duty To Endanger The Lives Of As Many Trans People As Possible

OpinionCommentaryEditorial

It Is Journalism’s Sacred Duty To Endanger The Lives Of As Many Trans People As Possible

The task of reporting is not a simple one. Each and every day, reporters and editors at publications like The Onion…

OpinionCommentary

One Time I Was In England And I Was A Prince And My Mom Was Diana And She Died And My Family Is Mean And My Wife Is Brown And I’m Sorry I Wore A Nazi

OpinionCommentary

One Time I Was In England And I Was A Prince And My Mom Was Diana And She Died And My Family Is Mean And My Wife Is Brown And I’m Sorry I Wore A Nazi

By Prince Harry

OpinionCommentary

Shrugs, Not Hugs

OpinionCommentary

Shrugs, Not Hugs

A Room Of Jean’s Own — By Jean Teasdale

OpinionCommentary

Ho, Ho, Ho, A Cabal Of Elite Pedophiles Is Trying To Kill Me!

OpinionCommentary

Ho, Ho, Ho, A Cabal Of Elite Pedophiles Is Trying To Kill Me!

By Santa Claus

OpinionCommentary

Teehee! ;)

OpinionCommentary

Teehee! ;)

By Kyrsten Sinema

OpinionCommentaryEditorial

‘The Onion’ Has Accidentally Locked Ourselves Out Of Our Office In Solidarity With Striking ‘New York Times’ Workers

OpinionCommentaryEditorial

‘The Onion’ Has Accidentally Locked Ourselves Out Of Our Office In Solidarity With Striking ‘New York Times’ Workers

Today, reporters and editors of The New York Times began a one-day strike, as negotiations between their union and…

OpinionCommentary

I’d Probably Do Fine In Prison Because I Get Along With Everybody

OpinionCommentary

I’d Probably Do Fine In Prison Because I Get Along With Everybody

By Jake Wilson

OpinionCommentary

Is It Just Me, Or Do The Sex Dreams About Santa Start Earlier And Earlier Each Year?

OpinionCommentary

Is It Just Me, Or Do The Sex Dreams About Santa Start Earlier And Earlier Each Year?

By Derek Ralphs

OpinionCommentary

This Isn’t Goodbye, It’s See You In A Few Seconds

OpinionCommentary

This Isn’t Goodbye, It’s See You In A Few Seconds

By An Oscillating Fan

OpinionCommentaryPoint/Counterpoint

Point/Counterpoint: President Trump Went Too Far On Jan. 6 <i>vs.</i> Mike Pence Was Wrong To Say President Trump Went Too Far On Jan. 6

OpinionCommentaryPoint/Counterpoint

Point/Counterpoint: President Trump Went Too Far On Jan. 6 vs. Mike Pence Was Wrong To Say President Trump Went Too Far On Jan. 6

On Jan. 6, 2020, President Trump attempted to change the course of U.S. history forever. Rather than accept a loss,…

OpinionCommentaryPoint/Counterpoint

Point/Counterpoint: A Self-Driving Tesla Ran Over My Son vs. Elon Musk Is Revolutionizing The Way We Kill People

OpinionCommentaryPoint/Counterpoint

Point/Counterpoint: A Self-Driving Tesla Ran Over My Son vs. Elon Musk Is Revolutionizing The Way We Kill People

Earlier this year, my family suffered an unimaginable tragedy when we lost my beautiful 5-year-old son Gavin. While…

OpinionCommentaryEditorial

BREAKING: ‘The Onion’ Has Purchased A 0.000000125% Stake In Twitter And Is Demanding A Seat On The Board

OpinionCommentaryEditorial

BREAKING: ‘The Onion’ Has Purchased A 0.000000125% Stake In Twitter And Is Demanding A Seat On The Board

In an unprecedented move certain to bring the entire tech industry to its knees, The Onion proudly announces this…

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